1. aren’t getting Hooked !!!
When people behave towards you during a manner that creates you
feel angry, frustrated or annoyed – this is often referred to as a Hook.
We can even become “Hooked” by the way people look, how they
talk, how they smell and even by their general demeanour.
If we take the bait then we are allowing the opposite person to
control our behaviour. this will then end in an
We have a choice whether we decided to urge hooked or stay
2. Don’t allow them to get to you.
We often allow the opposite persons attitude to irritate or
annoy us. This becomes obvious to the opposite person through
our tone of voice and our visual communication . This only fuels a
When handling difficult people, stay out of it
emotionally and consider listening non-defensively and
actively. People may make disparaging and emotional remarks
– don’t rise to the bait!
3. Listen – listen – listen
Look and sound like you’re listening. – When face-to-face
you need to seem interested, nod your head and keep good eye
contact. Over the ‘phone – you would like to form the occasional
“Uh Hu – I See”
If the opposite person senses that you simply care which you’re
interested in their problem, then they’re likely to become
4. Get all the facts – write them down.
Repeat back (paraphrase) the matter to make sure your
understanding and to let the opposite person know that you simply are
5. Use names
A persons name is one among the warmest sounds they hear. It
says that you simply have recognised them as a private .
It is important to not overdo it because it may encounter as
patronising to the opposite person.
Make sure they know your name which you’ll take ownership
for the matter .
6. DON’T blame someone or something else.
7. be careful for people’s egos
” Don’t interrupt
” Don’t argue
” Don’t jump in with solutions
” Allow them to excuse steam
” Don’t say, “Calm down”.
8. See it from the opposite person’s point of view
Too often we expect the “difficult” person is making an excessive amount of
fuss. we expect – “What’s the large deal; I’ll fix it right
away”. it’s an enormous deal for the opposite person and that they want
you to understand it.
You don’t necessarily got to accept as true with the person however
you accept the very fact that it is a problem for them.
9. Be very conscious of your visual communication and tone of voice
We often exacerbate a situation without realising it. Our
tone of voice and our visual communication can often contradict
what we’re saying. We could also be saying sorry however our tone
and our visual communication could also be communicating our frustration
and annoyance. People listen with their eyes and can set
greater credence on how you say something instead of what
It’s also important to use a warm tone of voice when dealing
with a difficult situation. this does not mean being “nicey-
nicey” or behaving during a non-assertive manner.
10. Words to avoid
There are certain trigger words which will cause people to
become harder especially in emotionally charged
situations. These include:
“You have to” –
“I want you to” –
“I need you to” –
“It’s company policy” –
“I can’t otherwise you can’t” –
“Jargon” or “Buzz” words –
“I’ll try” –
11. Stop saying Sorry
Sorry is an overused word, everyone says it when something
goes wrong and it’s lost its value.
How often have you ever heard – “Sorry ’bout that, give me the
details and I’ll sort this out for you.” much better to mention –
“I apologise for ….”
And if you actually got to use the “sorry” word, confirm to
include it as a part of a full sentence. “I’m sorry you
haven’t received that information as promised Mr Smith.”
(Again, it’s good practise to use the person’s name).
There are other belongings you can say rather than sorry –
The important thing to understand when handling a difficult
person is to:
Deal with their feelings – then affect their problem.
Using empathy is an efficient thanks to affect an individual’s
feelings. Empathy isn’t about agreement, only acceptance of
what the person is saying and feeling. Basically the message
is – “I understand how you are feeling .”
Obviously this has got to be a real response, the person will
realise if you’re insincere and they’ll feel patronised.
Examples of an empathy response would be – “I can understand
that you’re angry,” or “I see what you mean.” Again, these
responses got to be genuine.
13. Build Rapport
Sometimes it’s useful to feature another phrase to the empathy
response, including yourself within the picture. – “I can
understand how you are feeling , i do not love it either when that
happens to me” This has the effect of aged the opposite
persons side and builds rapport.
Some people get concerned when using this response, as they
believe it’ll cause “Well why don’t you are doing something about
The majority of individuals won’t respond this manner if they
realise that you simply are an inexpensive and caring person. If they
do, then continue empathising and tell the person what
you’ll do about things .
14. Under promise – over deliver
Whatever you tell resolve a situation, don’t make a rod
for your own back. We are often tempted during a difficult
situation to form promises that are difficult to stay . We
say things like – “I’ll get this sorted this afternoon and
phone you back.” it’s going to be difficult to urge it sorted “this
afternoon”. much better to mention – “I’ll get this sorted by
tomorrow lunchtime.” Then phone them back that afternoon or
early subsequent morning and they’ll think you’re great.
You don’t win all of them
Remember, everyone gets a touch mad from time to time, and
you won’t always be ready to placate everyone, – there is no
magic formula. However, the bulk of individuals during this world
are reasonable people and if you treat them intrinsically , then
they’re more likely to reply during a positive manner.
Some more thoughts
These notes are primarily designed to assist affect
difficult people once we have made an error . we frequently have
to affect people where we’ve not made an error
however the people we’re handling often convince be
difficult and unwilling to simply accept what we are saying .
We therefore got to demonstrate assertive behaviour that
helps us communicate clearly and confidently our needs,
wants and feelings to people without abusing in any
way their human rights.
1. aren’t getting Hooked !!!