How to Communicate with Purpose

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Last week I attended a superb 2-day workshop called “Staying Grounded When on the Spot,” offered by the general public Conversations Project, in Watertown, MA. Geared to assist facilitators and trainers manage challenging group moments, I found that the talents applied during a sort of settings, including one-on-one communication “hot spots.”

When a conversation becomes difficult, I can return to a more centered, grounded state by asking two questions:

1) what’s the aim of my communication?

2) Will the alternatives I make serve that purpose?

Let’s try it. consider a conversation that you simply got to hold but are adjourning because you’re concerned that it’d not go well. what’s your purpose for having the conversation? It helps to possess a useful purpose. for instance , trying to urge the opposite person to vary isn’t useful. you’ve got no control over that. On the opposite hand, learning about his experience might be very useful.

What choices could you create to serve this purpose? Listening may be a good start, and summarizing to clarify that you simply both heard an equivalent thing. Asking questions that validate your partner and seek to know his view also work beautifully. what’s your purpose, and what choices will support it?

Other useful purposes might be sharing your experiences, or trying to find interdependent ways to unravel a drag . Perilous purposes include venting on your partner, or ensuring he understands how wrong he’s . It sounds silly – who would ever choose such a purpose? But i do know I’ve done it.

One caution: sometimes i feel I’m going into a conversation with a useful purpose, like learning, but I find that the sensation or attitude behind it’s more about revenge or punishment. So though i exploit the “appropriate” words, my partner still feels attacked.

Paying attention to your purpose for the conversation will offer you the courage to possess it and assist you to remain grounded when things get hot.

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